Creating the Person You'll Be

I’ve been thinking about how I’d like to be when I’m older. It’s a worthwhile question for anyone. Even if you’ve just made it to retirement, you likely have many years ahead to shape your future life. 

Life is a creative act. Our future comes from how we spend our time today. The choices we make, the habits we form, the attitudes we cultivate. 

When I find people I admire, or just specific qualities, I try to reverse engineer that back to the present. What would I have to be doing now to become that kind of person later on? 

I have a friend, Joseph, who is 80. He’s joyful. He’s engaged in meaningful projects. He’s surrounded by people who love him. 

For all these reasons, many people would be happy to be in his shoes at 80. 

But I don’t think his life happened by accident. 

His joy is bolstered by a lifelong engagement with spirituality. His hobbies, gardening and beekeeping, give him something to do that connects him with life itself. He still works, but it’s mostly things he actually wants to be doing. 

He loves to share what he’s been up to, and it’s usually interesting. People want to hear about it. Having people genuinely interested in what you have to say is a precious gift. At any age.

Joseph also puts effort into his relationships. He has weekly time with his kids, and he travels to see his grandchildren pretty regularly. That’s not easy for him, especially at 80, but it’s important.

His life didn't create itself overnight. And I know he's had moments where his life didn't feel very enviable. Everyone has pain and setbacks, and sometimes the path to a good life doesn't feel very good, or easy. But that's surprisingly normal.

But what I think is a little abnormal, and even admirable, is to keep building towards the life you want even when things aren't going well. I suspect that level of consistency is a big part of what it takes to have a good life. And that's an account Joseph has paid into for decades now.

Who are some older people you admire? It doesn’t have to be the whole person. No one is perfect, after all. It could just be a few qualities. You can work backward from there.

What would someone have to do, over time, to end up like that?

Of course, the inverse is useful too. There are people who end up bitter, or lonely, or in pain. That usually doesn’t happen overnight either. There is usually a trail of breadcrumbs if you look for it. 

Retirement is a big milestone, but it's just the next leg of your journey. Consciously or not, you've already started creating the next version of yourself.

It’s worth being thoughtful about where that leads.