Taking a Digital-Detox, aka "Digital Sabbath"

I wanted to share a ritual I’ve been doing which has given me a lot of value over the last few months. It comes from a book by John Mark Comer called, The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry. While the book is religious (Christian), I think the habit of unplugging for a day can be appreciated by a broader, secular audience. So I hope you enjoy. 

The reason I started this practice is that many of my favorite activities started to feel like chores. Whether meeting friends for dinner, playing pickleball, or working with clients (which I actually love)… it all felt like a list of chores. Just another thing to check off the list. Which is no way to live.

What I really looked forward to was the moment in each day when I could finally go home and rest. Then I read Comer’s book and saw that he once felt much the same way that I did. So to address that, he and his family started taking an entire day off each week just to rest and have fun. I was sold! 

My experience has matched a lot of what Comer highlights in his book. Something about devoting an entire day to rest changes the whole rest of your week. Even on other days I find it easier to relax and be present, to enjoy the beautiful blue sky, or the sound of birds, or even just a moment of stillness. I find more moments of rest and rejuvenation throughout the course of each day. I worry less. I enjoy people more. I have more fun, laugh more, play more. 

And too, when I’m having a harder day or a harder week, I can always look forward to some real, genuine rest on Friday night. Or, if it’s early in the week, I find I have a bit more in the tank for having enjoyed a restful Saturday. More centered, peaceful, connected. 

My “Sabbath” begins on Friday night at 6 pm and goes until Saturday night at 6 pm. I’m copying the Judaic tradition somewhat arbitrarily. Mostly because it fits my schedule. During this time, I try to adhere to a few rules which are in place for my own revitalization:

• No work. No thinking about work, journaling about work projects or goals. No checking email, no networking, no work talk.

• No thinking about my personal nor business finances. No investments, nor cash flow planning for upcoming projects, mortgage payments, investments, etc. No budgeting, either. 

• No home improvement or repair projects.

• No tv. No movies. No videogames. No audiobooks. 

• No social media, nor reading anything on my phone. 

• Basically if it’s on a screen (other than a kindle) it’s a no. The one exception is that I have a couple of friends that I sometimes go hiking with on Saturdays, and I’ve set up a “Sabbath Do Not Disturb” list on my phone that allows those friends to call or text me if plans change. Usually though, about 80% of the time, I’m better about it and have all the plans ironed out in advance and all I need to do is show up. 

• No yardwork, no laundry, no dishes, no cooking.

• I try to drive as little as possible. I find it fairly stressful and unpleasant. Biking is much better. But you might not be bothered by it. 

I encourage you to make your own rules, and I’ll share some thoughts on how to do that later on. These are just what I’ve come to for myself. 

You might be wondering, given everything that is forbidden by this list, what do I actually do with this 24 hour period. Do I just sit at home and stare out the window all day?

And actually, yes. Sometimes. At least for a little while. More on that later too. 

The key point is that you’re free to spend this day however you want, provided that it feels restful and rejuvenating to you. Those are the two criteria. “Rest” is probably intuitive. And that might look like taking a nap, doing a puzzle, reading a book, or in my case, staring out the window. “Rejuvenation” is a little more substantial though. To me, that word means an activity which really feeds your soul. It could be spending time with friends or family, playing music, walking around outdoors, meditating, dancing, birding, eating delicious food, hiking, you name it! But it’s up to you to discern whether it feels more like a chore, or more like rest and rejuvenation. 

So sometimes, staring out the window is just what the doctor ordered. Especially if I’m feeling stressed and have had a long week. Other times, I’ll pick up a hobby or go for a walk. 

It’s fun to experiment with this list and make note of what “works” for rest and rejuvenation. I used to spend a fair number of Saturdays watching movies or tv. But then I would get up on Sunday feeling kind of tired and groggy. I had “rested” all day, but I wasn’t “rejuvenated.” With time, I realized that nothing I did in front of a screen provided the sense of freshness I craved. Hence, I banned all the screens from my life on this one day a week. 

By making time to reflect on what I want to do, I’ve learned to be more aware of what I really need, whether work, rest, or play. I’ve also come to be aware of the distinctions between those three categories, although a really good week features all three at some point.  

It’s funny how my understanding has shifted through this practice. Cooking, for instance, is something I really enjoy. So I figured it must be either rest or play. But after cooking a few times on my “sabbath,” I found I was less rested going into the new week. For me, therefore, cooking is work. Enjoyable work, but work nonetheless. 

Going to the gym feels like work to me too, obviously. But not surprisingly, a 10 mile hike or a long bike ride with friends feels quite restorative and fun. So even if the calorie expenditure with friends is far greater than I’d accomplish on the treadmill, one is work and the other is play. 

Reading is restful. Playing bass is playful. But yard work is work, even though I am starting to enjoy gardening. 

That brings up an important, but subtle point. It’s not whether you enjoy the activity or not. I enjoy my job, after all. It’s whether the activity counts as rest and rejuvenation. The distinction points to different needs. I need to work in order to exercise my creative instincts, as well as my analytical mind. But I have already built a lot of that into my life, and what I’m most often missing is time just to rest and do nothing. Hence a day of rest is so valuable because it expands the supply of the scarcest resource. 

I’m just sharing my observations about myself, to give you a starting point to work from. For some people, gardening is the perfect way to relax and re-center themselves. 

I encourage you to make your own rules. Feel free to use mine as a starting point if you’d like, though. My list has come about through trial and error, and yours will too. 

You may feel ambivalent about some items on your list. I struggle sometimes with whether long hikes are quite as restorative and restful as I’d like them to be. But for my personal schedule, I either do them on Saturdays or not at all. So they’re in for now. 

Either way, at the end of each Sabbath, I think the goal would be that you feel like your cup has been refilled. Are you well-rested? Are you rejuvenated? Do you feel more like yourself? Did you allow yourself to feel a little bored and let your mind wander? For me, boredom is actually one of the most important parts. And that’s why I spend so much time staring out the window. 

On Friday nights, I put my phone in a box and leave it there. I then unplug the tv, wifi, and all other “smart” devices. Anything that adds noise and stimulation gets removed. Then, I sit and do nothing. At least for a little while. And when I say I sit and do nothing, I mean I sit in my chair and stare out the window. I just let the racing thoughts and busy-ness of the week settle down, and I get back in touch with myself. 

This part of the process is kind of amazing to me, because it’s so rare that anyone really sits and does nothing. Not scrolling their phone, not making plans for later, nor even doing dishes. In that span of time, from about a half hour to sometimes as much as an hour and a half, I just watch my brain unpack and digest the backlog of stimulation it accumulated throughout the week. Little by little, I let go of it all, and my brain begins to quiet. Gradually, I become bored. I have begun to detox from the digital world.

Being bored is such a good experience when it’s intentional. During the week, boredom means I reach for my phone, or think of something I’m supposed to be doing. Not so on the “sabbath.” The whole point is to let your brain calm down from the blitzkrieg of tv shows, news segments, youtube videos, audiobooks, feeds, and podcasts that have been hammering your brain all week. I used to be a voracious consumer of all those forms of content. But now I think, less is more. Information is abundant, but opportunities for quiet and reflection are increasingly rare. 

We live in a reactive society. In large part, this is because people spend so much time consuming information and not enough time processing it. They can tell you what someone else said, but they struggle to give an original opinion as to what they thought of it, or a way to connect with them about it. It's all coming from their rational brains, rather than their hearts. Which is a shame, because I think the heart is where all the really interesting stuff comes from.

So that’s why I’m sharing this. Because once I started taking a day a week for rest and rejuvenation (and even boredom), I started having a more authentic, present experience of life. I found myself connecting better with people, enjoying them more. I noticed that I was laughing more easily, enjoying more of my day, and taking better care of myself all around. In short, it’s led me towards being more of myself. I’m very thankful for that, and so I thought I’d share the experience in hopes that it does for you what it’s done for me. 

It is good for us to make some time for ourselves.